No one’s born violent - Everyday Activism Against Gender-Based Violence (GBV)
Angola
The first thing to understand about violence is that no individual is born violent. It is the circumstance that gives birth to it. Violence against women and girls is a human rights violation, and the immediate and long-term physical, sexual, and mental consequences for women and girls can be devastating, including death.
Every day a mother dies, a daughter dies, a neighbor dies, a student dies, a friend dies, a businesswoman dies. Not enough is done to prevent violence, and when it does occur, it often goes unpunished.
Hello good morning world!
we participated in the 16-day of activism against gender-based violence (an international initiative that takes place between 25 November and 10 December, starting with the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women and ending with Human Rights Day), and also observed the International Day of Zero Tolerance for Female Genital Mutilation that took place on 6 February 2023.
The goal of our program is to end violence against women, to make people aware that violence is not the solution to the problems we face, and to make a call upon governments and partners to show their solidarity to women’s rights movements and activists and inviting everyone to join the global movement in ‘pushing forward’ against the push back, to end violence against women once and for all.
Every day women die, girls die, children are mistreated and this problem of domestic abuse has worsened in times of quarantine during the covid-19 pandemic. Parents who lost their jobs vented anger on their children, frustrated husbands vented anger on their wives, family members abused minors. Many people lost their lives, many wives were mistreated.
It is an evil that we must fight in our society, because violence against women is a violation of human rights, women are limited in everything, they have practically no right to anything in some societies, they often have no right to health and quality education; concluding and summarizing, there are many things that we still need to fight, we also have many women suffering from extreme poverty.
Reason why, we are here to draw the attention of the general population, especially men, to show solidarity in favor of this cause, which is to end gender-based violence, violence against women and girls.
Let's join forces and fight this evil. (Every day a mother dies, a daughter dies, a neighbor dies, a student dies, a friend dies, a businesswoman dies). We are not doing well using violence. We must educate our population, our society above all, sensitize people, propose new legislation on combating violence against women and domestic violence. Keeping people in schools can also reduce the level of violence, eliminate delinquency in neighborhoods, many girls are sexually abused in neighborhoods, especially in the most dangerous places, we have fathers without judgment who rape their own daughters. In general, our society needs to be more civilized to fight this crime.
Interview with suzana (victim of domestic violence)
Lady good afternoon,
Good afternoon, Thank you.
What's your name?
My name is Suzana Dembo João
We are promoting 16 days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, Violence Against Women.
We would like to know. Have you ever been a victim of domestic violence?
Yes, I have been a victim of domestic violence.
Could you please tell us how you lived through that period?
Well the following happened to me:
At the beginning of the relationship everything was a sea of roses, but after a while things changed. We had only a 10-year union. It all started after 3 years of our union, when I had my second child, the man became very violent, very jealous, all for nothing it was a reason for jealousy.
I couldn't go out anymore, not even to say hello to the neighbors, the man was suspicious of everything. When he went to work, at work he was full of dark thoughts, he suspected that when his wife was at home she was having fun with other men. Even when I went out to visit my family, if I stayed a little longer with the family, it would be a reason for conflict.
He didn't know how to sit down to talk, he wasn't a man for conversation. He resolved all our conflicts at home with beatings, he beat me a lot. A little thing that happened at home was a reason for him to beat me up, when he imagined things that didn't exist he also ended all his anger at me. He was very brutal when he hit me, he would only stop until my face was inflamed.
Besides this kind of physical violence, has he ever committed another kind of violence? Even though you were living maritally, did he ever go so far as to sexually molest you?
Yes, he molested me sexually, too.
Whenever I had a family outing, he didn't feel right without molesting me first. He used to sexually violate me against my will. He would drag me into the bedroom to fulfill his sexual desires and would only let go until he was tired and satisfied. Over time he became so obsessed that he forced me to have anal intercourse. He raped me in the anus too.
When I tried to reject him he would beat me and force me, he even did it in front of our children. The children watched us when he forced me to have anal sex. He was a sadomasochist.
Ok, at that time were you studying?
Yes, I was studying, he was the one who enrolled me in school, paid the tuition, bought the school supplies and uniforms. But I stayed in school for 3 months only, after 3 months he changed his behavior.
He used to tell me that if I wanted to continue studying I should go to classes with the two children. I used to tell him that allowing me to study would be beneficial for both of us and for the family, because once I graduated I could get a job and help him with household expenses in the future.
He said that will never form his wife because it would be a waste of time. Being a graduated woman I would leave ungrateful, abandon him and find another man with more money than him.
Things started to get even more complicated. I studied at night because of my age, the last class ended at 8:00 pm, if I got home at 8:30 pm it was a big problem for him, he got to the point that made me drop out of school. I stayed at home to obey everything he used to order me.
Have you ever asked for help?
I tried.
I really tried to report him to the Organization of Angolan Women (OMA). But when I got there, I was out of money to open the process, they said that to open a complaint process one pays a fee. I had no money, I left la and never went back to OMA again.
Then I made the decision to separate from that person.
How long have you been separated from him?
It's been 8 or 10 years.
How many children did you have together?
2, we made a couple (a girl and a boy).
How is your life going now? Do you have a new relationship?
Thank God, I have a new husband, we've been together for 7 years, we have 3 little children together.
With my new husband I am more happier, he is a man who never hit me, no matter how wrong I am.
He is an understanding man, always has the patience to talk to me when we have problems. He is a good father to my children, a good husband and friend. I am very happy and I praise God for introducing me to this man.
What advice would you give to those women who are currently suffering from domestic and sexual violence and are unable to DENOUNCE it?
My sisters, listen to my advice: This problem of ours, habit and fear of hiding our aggressive husbands for being the father of our children, is a trap for ourselves. My sisters, a woman must not allow a man to make her suffer. When we get together with someone it is to be happy, do not allow these types of violence in your homes.
When the husband hits you for the first, second and third time, denounce him.
I wouldn't want anyone to go through what I went through. Even when I watch cases of violence against women, murdered by their husbands on television or on the radio, I get very shaken and depressed.
Be strong. No domestic violence!
Domestic violence is a crime. Report it. Hiding cases like these is a mistake, this is my advice to women.
Ok. Thank you very much!
No one’s born violent
The first thing to understand about violence is that no individual is born violent. It is the circumstance that gives birth to it.
“Educating women about their rights is not enough,” ending gender-based violence has to start with men. Domestic violence affects approximately one in every three women the world over, which is more than a quarter of all women in the world. “No man is born violent.” Violence is learned, and if it can be learned, it can be unlearned. Raising strong, ethical men starts with planning educational programs and community discussions.
This being said, not every violent person ends up a cold-blooded murderer. Sometimes, violence manifests itself in forms less severe, yet equally scarring. Incidents of brutality occurring in households or on the streets may not lead to homicide, but they just as well can destroy families and societies.
'BabyScream'' IBM RPA Anti-harassment chatbot to End Child Marriage. The tech show with Sofonie Dala
We designed an Anti-harassment chatbot named BabyScream to help victims of child marriage, domestic violence and sexual abuse, denounce harmful practices. The bot connects users with agent-defenders, allows victims to report harmful practices and denounce their aggressors.
Violence against women and girls is defined as any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual or mental harm or suffering to women and girls, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or in private life.
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